Cattle Known By Any Name is Still Steak to Me

Before I go further into blog posts, I need to make note that I use the word “cows” as a catch all.  I don’t want you to think I don’t know the terminology.  I have learned.  Alpha Hubby made me.

Buddy Boy #71

You have a bull, which is a boy or adult male cow.

U see my eyelashes
U see my eyelashes??

You have a heifer which is a girl cow (and no, not because she flutters her eyelashes at Alpha Hubby when he has a camera). She is a girl cow who hasn’t had a baby or had a second calf.  Now pay attention here:  after she has her first calf you will call her a first calf heifer.  Confused yet?  I was.

Mama & Miss Molly
Mama & Miss Molly

You have a cow which was a heifer who became known as a first calf heifer after her first baby who is now known also as a second calf heifer called a cow because…?  Anyone? Come on, keep up! She’s had a second baby. So this picture is of a cow (she had another teenager heifer) and this little heifer.

Awesome Coolbreeze 2-1-2011
Baby Awesome & Cool Breeze

Then you have the calves which are the babies. You have a boy calf which is called a bull.  And you have a girl calf which is a heifer (see mess above under “heifer”). See how it all goes back to the beginning?  Know how I know the difference between the two? No, you naughty minded person – it’s because she had a red tuft and he didn’t!


Then you have the sad ones.  These are boys we call steers.  They are the ones who should have steered clear of the Vet because they now have had their… you know what’s cut off.  You don’t know?  Ask someone – a guy usually knows.  It’s down below. They are sometimes called Rocky Mountain Oysters.

Awesome & Cool Breeze
Adult Awesome & Cool Breeze

Then you have the ones called Troublemakers.  Those will have a new name, Dinner.  These two had bad, bad attitude. Miss Red Tuft was shipped off to another owner who let’s her roam without human interaction. She must be thrilled but no sweet feed for her. He? He was shipped. Off. Far, far away. We don’t talk about it.

Now here’s the tricky part – they are ALL known as bovine!  Ha! Who would think cattle were so dag-gumed complicated???

And last of all, you have the Alpha Hubby who is standing behind me correcting me as I type this since, to be really honest, I forgot some of the specifics of that heifer mess up there! 

Someone in the past had a sick sense of humor – or was drunk – heifer, 1st calf heifer, then, after two babies, 2nd calf heifer AND a cow.

Life on the ranch is very educational.

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