I’ve been asked by former city-fied friends what it is like being married to my husband. Most of the people asking are pretty much people like me. If they stepped in a cow-paddy, it was certainly by accident.
I still remember when Alpha Hubby broke the news to me that his dream, his heart’s desire, was to raise cattle. Yeah, I was so thrilled! Really!! NO, really. I was thrilled he had a dream he wanted to walk in. But cows? Hmmm…
So when my friends ask me about cows, I try to tell a few stories of what I’ve learned or discovered over the few years we’ve been raising cattle. They like the playful stories, huge bulls dancing in the fields, calves chasing one another, beautiful babies, and my boots.
Yeah, my life. Went from receiving things like this as gifts:
Now granted, there was a reason for this gifting. He was going out of town and was setting it up for me to feed the cows. I had to go into the corral and put some sweet feed in a few feeders.
So alrighty, I’m set. No cow additives on my flip flops. Just rinse those boots and all is well. Or not.
It isn’t the cow by-product that got me. It was the cows. As I mentioned in my first post, I wasn’t wild about cattle – they freak me out, mainly because they’re bigger, probably because of that 12 year old girl standing, frozen, in a cow pasture (the first cow I met)! It was at that time, 12 years old, that I decided I never needed to meet another cow.
Anyhoo, I thought I’d be smart and get the grain out before the cows noticed. I did; they normally eat at 4:00 p.m. and are like clockwork showing up in the corral, bellowing for sweet feed. I zipped out to the corral at 3:00 p.m. with the buckets full and threw that sweet feed in the feeders. Then I ran out of the corral before the cows got up there.
Heh heh heh. Oh, they started up when they saw me inside the corral, but I got out first and did a nyeh-nyeh-nyeh at them. THAT was my problem.
I got cocky.
The next morning I glanced out the window and the cows were in the corral at 3:00 p.m., bellowing. Yep, 3:00 p.m. They showed me. They could tell time.
I had to go INTO the corral while COWS were in there. Man, I hated that. And the
stupid sweet big old bull thought he should stick his snout in the bucket while I was carrying it. The others wanted to gather around. IT WAS A NIGHTMARE. Grrr.
This meant war. The next day I zipped out there at 2:00 p.m. I threw that sweet feed into the feeders and got out stealthily, then shouted “Yee ha, sneaky cows!!” Heh heh heh.
Yep, you got it. The next day they were standing in the corral at 2:00 p.m., and I swear, I SWEAR, they looked smug and sneaky. Thank goodness Alpha Hubby was home the next day because I’d had it.
My friends want to know what my life is like now? I’m being outsmarted by cows. Bulls, heifers, calves, steers. Probably even the stupid pigeons if they stuck around long enough to figure out the schedule. Oh and a rabbit. A rabbit who cleans up.
And no, my muck boots do not look good with my LBDs. Thank you for asking.